Some Things Are Hard to Sit Through

Last night, I went out to dinner with two of my close friends here at school because we needed a break from dorm food. Uncharacteristic of me, I was pretty quiet for most of the meal. Why is that? Well, they were talking about an organization that they are a part of here at school, an organization that we all applied to last November but only they would be chosen as members. It was kind of hard for me to see two friends make it while I was kind of left out in the dumps. I wasn't a fan of the rejection email that I (and every other person who didn't make it) received- the wording was a little harsh, in my opinion. Anyway, they've been in this organization (which is more of a committee that brings various forms of entertainment to campus, especially big concerts and speakers and such) for a year, and it's time for them to re-apply along with new people who want to join.

Now, they are pretty much guaranteed their same positions, but if they want to switch committees among the organization, they have to state that in their application and all. My one friend will have an open position alongside her for the music committee, which is what was my 1st pick when applying for this and wasn't even in her top 3 (you can be chosen to be on a committee that isn't in your top 3 if the board members think you would fit better somewhere else). My other friend actually wants the open position alongside our friend or the position for the other music committee that does the big concerts. Only about twice have my friends said that I should apply again. But I figure, why even bother? When I was rejected last year, it crushed me. I secretly cried because during that time, I was losing faith in this school and befriending anymore people here. I wanted to truly be a part of group to make me feel like I belonged here. I needed to be a part of a group like this. I felt like it was perfect for me- event planning, bring musicians to school, bringing diversity, etc. It's such an important group here on campus, and it would've made me feel important to my student body. It was like I was being rejected left and right for everything I wanted to do. But I'm happy I stayed here because if I didn't, I wouldn't have met so many great people second semester (or I would've had to leave them after that if I didn't return in the fall), and I wouldn't be Vice President of my school's TWLOHA UChapter. Everything happens for a reason.

Back to my original thoughts... Since my friends have been a part of this organization, they've learned a lot and know much more about what goes on than when they weren't a part of it. But it's hard hearing them say constantly, "People don't realize how much work you have do in this organization. It's not as easy as they think...People think that they can just bring whoever they want here and that there's plenty of money to spend to bring artists and such here, but they will be proven wrong fast" and things like that. Yes, I get that you know pretty much all there is to know about the group now, but this was you last year- not knowing what really goes on, being naive and thinking you could bring practically whoever. Maybe if the group had an open forum of sorts with the student body and let them know what really goes on, people would realize what's really up. If you let people know what to expect beforehand, maybe some applicants will realize that they're not ready for that huge of responsibilities. Or explain to people that you don't have free reign to money here on campus to fund your events. The students are ignorant and naive to this info because you don't share it openly. Because I have friends that are part of it, I get insider info and I'm not naive or ignorant about how things run in there.

I ate quietly while they went back in forth about business regarding this group. It wasn't meant for me. Better things came along aka TWLOHA. I have my chance to plan events and bring musicians as a part of my group (when we get money lol), and it is for a great cause. While they may get many benefits from being a part of their group, I think that the benefits I get from twloha mean much more to me than free tickets to movies on campus and free admission to the big concerts and photos with the big name musicians who come here- I get to help people, support each other, build a sense of community with my fellow students, and just see people feel comfortable sharing their stories with others. I love twloha.

Even though sometimes I have thoughts of how it would be if I were a part of that group with my friends, I've moved on, and I'm probably doing a lot better now anyway. I'm happy being in twloha, and I get to be a board member with some of the greatest people ever.