You Deserve Better, But You Were Good For Him/Her

The other day, my grandmother and I were talking about a family member who's been in and out of trouble for years, and she brought up how he needed to stop messing around with these women who have issues. She brought up how she wishes he was still with his ex from 10+ years ago. Yes, it's been that long, but my grandma still believes this woman was great for him. Why was she so great? Well, for one thing, she stood strong, she stood her ground, she challenged him. He couldn't get his way easily with her, and she wasn't going to allow that. All those women who came after her? They were complete followers, submissive to whatever he said/wanted, which is really sad. This specific ex, though, I remember her when I was a little kid. She was always nice to me, bought me chips (because what else do little kids want in life besides junk food), got along with the family, such a sweetheart in general. I don't know who broke up with who or if it was a mutual agreement, but I was sad when she wasn't around anymore. My grandma says this woman was really in love with this family member, so I'm thinking he broke up with her (I wouldn't be surprised). At the same time, though, we could argue that she deserved better, so it's a good thing she isn't with this family member anymore and has gone on to be successful in life. So where is this little story going?

I've been thinking about how people can say person A deserves a better person than person B, but at the same time someone else might say person A was good for person B because they helped keep person B in line, kept them out of trouble a bit. Usually friends and/or family of person A will say they deserve better, while family and/or friends of person B will say that person A was actually good for the former.

What keeps us in relationships with people when we technically "deserve better"? Is that love? Is love that force that keeps you with a person who is..."beneath" you or just nowhere near perfect? I hate to use the term "beneath" because it belittles people, but at this moment I couldn't think of another word to replace it, but you get my point. Now, this isn't to be used in the example of abusive relationships because that is an entirely different story of how I feel about a person deserving better and being good for someone else in that sense. I've digressed...

Anyway, it's just something that's been on my mind lately, especially with my grandma bringing up our family member and his ex. It's also kind of funny because a post I wrote a week or two ago was about being young but not settling for less than what we deserve. Should we hold relationships in the same light? Should we reject the person who is "less than"? Or do we stay with this person because we realize that we caused a change for the better in them, and leaving them would just cause trouble and much pain? I guess this just has me thinking now for people who do stay with a person when they know they could "do better"- are they staying because of love or is it an obligation to keep this person on the right track?

People are powerful, sometimes far more than they know.