Boys on the Mind

So, these are just random thoughts for right now. I'm not trying to sound like a girl that only thinks about guys and shit either. This is more than just guys of interest or whatever- this is about guys in general....

I don't fully understand guys right now. I never do those anonymous things where you talk about the person without mentioning their name so that they would have to guess if it's them if they should come across this blog. Well, I guess I'm going to do that now for the first time because there's a lot running through my mind regarding certain guys. Stream of consciousness is to follow...

A) You're slowly turning into the guy I hoped you wouldn't be. I don't know. We both crossed the line in our own ways, but it still shouldn't be this hard to get you to sit down and have a conversation. You don't want a relationship, and I get that and respect that, but I don't know if you're trying to avoid having a "talk" with me because you think that I'm going to pretty much ask you out or say that I really want a relationship with you or not. That's not what I want to tell you at all. I just want you to find the same time to talk to me that you could find before to come over and kiss me. I just want to be friends and let you know that I've moved on. Seriously. Grow up and man up. You're not going to hurt my feelings by telling me the truth.

B) So I guess we're official and all now, which is pretty cool and new to me, but I feel like we talk less now which really doesn't make sense. If we're together now, shouldn't we talk more? I'm not pushy or anything, but you used to text me for like an hour or two a few nights a week until we decided to go to sleep, but that hasn't happened recently. No good night stuff or anything. Maybe we're not so official then? Or maybe now that we're official you don't feel like you have to talk to me everyday to...I don't know, make sure that I'm still interested because you have me or something? Or if we are randomly texting in the day, you just don't reply at some point, and then I don't hear from you anymore. Am I being annoying? I don't get it at all. Maybe you're just busy, or maybe I did something this past weekend to make you mad or irritated though you didn't seem it. Who knows. Maybe I'm just overthinking as usual. This is nothing new. I'll see you next week, and maybe I can read you better then. I don't know.

C) You're probably my closest guy friend here at school, and I'm very grateful to have you as a friend. You make me worry though. Yeah, you're in a very demanding major and everything, but I'm worried that you'll stress yourself out and have some type of breakdown or whatnot. I feel like you're trying to take on too much at once. Piling up on classes to graduate in four years isn't really worth it if you'll give yourself an ulcer. I don't want to see your health decrease or see you go down a dark path because you want to overwork yourself. I'm glad that we're going to talk this weekend because I need to understand better what you're trying to do with your life and all. There's too much going on with you right now, and I know you're overwhelmed, and I feel like you're adding unnecessary stress to your life. I just want you to breathe and pace yourself.


Okay. I think I've cleared my mind the best I could. I've got chills running through my body now. Time to sleep.